Love at first sight
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In order to understand what draws them together, we need to understand the character of Woodcock. Woodcock, as shown at the start of the film, is a perfectionist. He is a master at his craft and anything less than perfect and unique is unappealing to him. We see the way he sows and style's his dresses, the amount of time and effort he puts into every stitch and design element. Woodcock is not just some random dress designer, he is simply one of his kind. This emphasis on his perfectionist ways is important to illustrate what draws Woodcock to Alma when he first lays his eyes on her at the restaurant.
When first seeing Alma, Woodcock completely falls in love with her. Woodcock, being the perfectionist he is, interestingly, falls in love with Alma's imperfections. When serving at the restaurant, Woodcock sees how Alma trips and bumps into people, sometimes nearly dropping everything she's holding on the Tupperware. Even the way she stands and talks is imperfect; she does not have the best posture or the best figure, she is just a normal, imperfect person. She is an imperfect person that has come into his perfect world. In Woodcock eye's, interestingly, she is exactly what he wants.
When Woodcock takes Alma home, Woodcock asks Alma if he could measure her. She agrees and, interestingly, her proportions are not perfect either. Cyril, Woodcock's sister, even says how Alma's breasts are very small, and how she has a belly; and yet, Cyril mentions how she's the perfect size and shape for him. Woodcock is falling in love with the imperfect.
Another aspect that draws Woodcock to Alma is her confidence in her imperfections and in her faults. Alma never says sorry for the way that she is; she sticks to who she is regardless of what others, and most specifically Woodcock, says. Woodcock is drawn to this because it breaks the mold and repetitiveness of his life and gives him something that he has not seen before. While other women conform to him, Alma is making Woodcock conform to her.
However, this is not just a tale of one man falling in love; this also the story about Alma falling in love with Woodcock. Alma's love for Woodcock is in her ability to see who he really is. She does not look at the facade that Woodcock puts in front of everyone else. She does not see the artists, rather, she sees a man with many faults and insecurities. It is her loving and nurturing nature that draws her to him. She mentions numerous of times when with him that she thinks he does need to fall in love and that him not getting married is not because he thinks he does not need it, but rather, that he is insecure.
When in love
When Woodcock takes Alma to stay with him, we see that the roses and butterflies of their love at first sight somewhat starts to die down. Alma's imperfections are bothering Woodcock, and Woodcock's insecurities and his strive for perfection are driving Alma crazy. This is most exemplified in the numerous breakfast scenes throughout the film. Usually, in the morning, Woodcock needs time to himself and he needs no disturbances around him. He needs his morning in order to compose himself for the rest of the day. However, Alma breaks that mold. Alma's use of the knife and fork, and how she clangs them onto the plate and spread butter on toast really bothers Woodcock. He flat out tells her to stop making noise since it is bothering him. Alma, who owns her imperfections (which was what drew Woodcock to Alma at first) does not really listen or concede to his whims. She says how the noise she is making, is simply her buttering the bread or making breakfast for herself; why should she stop her breakfast for him? Throughout that scene, we see the imperfection that drew Woodcock to her is what is slowly bothering him the most.
On the other hand, Woodcock's insecurities and faults are also drawing Alma away from him. Alma consistently wants to mold Woodcock away from his daily activities and routines, and yet, every time she tries to do that, he gets more and more irritated. For instance, Alma wanted to through a surprise dinner for Woodcock. She tells everyone to leave the house in order for her and Woodcock to be by themselves. Cyril warns her that Woodcock would not appreciate this surprise, yet Alma refuses to listen, and does things the way she wants them to be done. Not only that, but knowing that Woodcock does not like butter in his food, Alma makes food for him specifically using butter as the main dressing. When Woodcock comes home and sees that everyone has left and sees that she has made food with butter, rather than accepting the change, he just gets angry at her for even considering that this surprise dinner was a good idea.
At this point in the story, both Woodcock and Alma are stuck. The thing that drew them in together, are now drawing them apart. No longer does Woodcock like the imperfection and random nature of Alma; and no longer does Alma like the insecure and troubled nature of Woodcock. Something needs to draw them both together in a way that suffices Woodcock's original love of Alma's imperfection and randomness, while also please Alma's love for Woodcock's insecurities and need for care.
The Secret Ingredient for Love
Alma eventually finds what needs to be done in order for them to fall in love once again. She finds this in the form of poisonous mushrooms. Seemingly at first, it would appear that Alma is going to poison Woodcock to severely damage him out of pure anger and frustration. However, Alma carefully measures how many mushrooms she will put in his food in order to not kill him; just enough to damage him. Alma puts the poisonous mushrooms in his food, and eventually, seemingly out of nowhere, Woodcock falls down and becomes extremely sick.
This is where their love slowly starts to come back. Woodcock is completely immobile, he needs someone on his side in order to help him not only move around but also someone to help him emotionally. Alma, on the other hand, needs someone or something to take care of. This is where these two needs and longings coincide with one another. Woodcock does not want doctors or anyone else in his room beside Alma, and Alma wants to nurture and take care of Woodcock all by herself. At this point, everything that drew them together in the first place is finally coming back. Woodcock loved it when he saw Alma making mistakes in the diner and serving him the first time he saw her; Alma loved serving Woodcock as a form of nurturing.
Woodcock finally becomes better and asks to marry Alma. Things begin to be getting better for these two, that is until things go back to the way they were before. Seemingly, as seen before, aspects of their marriage start to slowly fall apart. Things that bothered Woodcock before are starting to creep back up, and things that were bothering Alma with Woodcock before are also coming in the forefront. Whether it be Woodcock's harshness, his insecurities, and the way he needs to follow a set pattern every single day. Woodcock is also bothered by Alma's inability to listen and mold to his set patterns. In seeing their relationship slowly moving away, Alma finds that it is time to poison Woodcock once again; to get their relationship back to how it was when they loved one another. This time, however, Woodcock realizes what Alma is doing. Woodcock sees Alma as she is cooking and putting the poison in his food; he realizes that Alma was the reason why he became extremely ill before and it was no mere accident. However, instead of being repulsed or mad, Woodcock willingly and happily eats the poisonous food that Alma gave him. Woodcock loves Alma, and even though he does not show it properly, he is willing to give himself to Alma. And while Alma does show her love to Woodcock, the way she shows him her love for him the most is by making him desperate for her help.
In order for their love to work, Alma needs to be the one taking care of Woodcock, while Woodcock needs to be taken care of by Alma. It is a symbiotic relationship of the weirdest kind; and yet, it is something that we see in many other relationships. Alma is there to help Woodcock and to hit him where he is weakest; hitting him and helping him with his deepest insecurities. Woodcock is there for Alma to be someone--or something--to take care of and to control over. In many relationships, we see this exact same thing happening. In all relationships, one partner has an innate desire and liking that the other must fulfill. Some people need a lover who is will to deal with their troubled past, while also steering them in the right direction. Some people need a physical lover, others need someone to be a form of emotional support for them. In an odd way, Paul Thomas Anderson is hitting at this point of love; that a relationship is a give and take sort of thing. Alma and Woodcock, such as every other couple, give a part of themselves to the other, and take something from the other form themselves. And at the end, even in their odd ways, Alma and Woodcock have found love.
